Unf*ck Yourself! Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life With Gary John Bishop

Gary John Bishop is one of the leading Personal Development experts in the industry with a global reputation that has impacted tens of thousands of people worldwide. He is the author of Unf*ck Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life. 

His “urban philosophy” approach represents a new wave of personal empowerment and life mastery that has caused miraculous results for people in the quality and performance of their lives. He calls it like it is while being influenced by ontology, phenomenology and the philosophy of some of the world’s greatest thinkers to help you be inspired, unburdened and grounded.

Favorite Success Quote

“You have the life you are willing to put up with.”

Key Points

1. You Are Responsible for Being F*cked 

Whenever you (or someone that you know) is confronted with the cold reality that they are utterly and completely f*cked, the initial reaction is almost always one of blame.

“My parents were terrible! You don’t understand.”

“Yeah, well I grew up poor so this is just how it has to be”

“You don’t know what it’s like to be an [insert minority group of choice]!”

Although every statement above could be true, it doesn’t change the facts.

You are 100% responsible for your life.

Why would you let anyone else control even a fraction of 1% of your life?

Do you really want to leave your future, your potential, and your one life to the whims of other people? If not, then you must accept full responsibility for your life and move one.

2. Authenticity is Inherently About You

Whenever people hear the phrase “Just be authentic”, they often assume that they now have free reign to say and react to others in any way that they choose.

This is not authenticity, it’s called being an ass hole.

Authenticity in your interactions is about expressing your truth and owning that truth.

Let me give you an example of what I mean.

Let’s say that a client of yours responded to an error in a manner that was completely inappropriate and unacceptable on both a personal and professional level.

You are feeling frustrated, hurt, and angry by their actions and feel compelled to bring them up.

There are two ways of going about this.

The first way, (which most people choose) is to make the interaction about them.

“How dare you treat me that way! You are such an ass hole and you clearly don’t value our working relationship! You can take this project and shove it because I can’t stand this crap anymore.”

Although the statement might be true, it’s not productive because it’s focused on the other person instead of you.

A more authentic way to approach the conversation would be to say:

“Look, what you did yesterday made me feel very hurt and undervalued. I don’t know whether you understand how your actions affected our professional relationship, but I wanted to let you know that I will no longer be able to continue working with you if we have another incident like that.”

When you shift the focus from the other person and onto yourself, you step into your power and own your responsibility for your feelings and your response to those feelings.

3. Someone Somewhere Has Dealt with What You Are Dealing With 

It’s funny how often I hear the words “No one knows what I’m going through”.

It doesn’t really matter what the topic is about.

It could be an abusive childhood, a controlling partner, a crappy boss, bad health, or any wide variety of ailments and general shittiness.

But the simple fact of the matter is that someone somewhere has experienced the exact same thing that you are struggling with and they have turned this perceived weakness into their greatest strength.

Sean Stephenson was born with a genetic deformity that stunted his growth, permanently confined him to a wheelchair, and weakened him so much that he’s broken every bone in his body.

Yet he’s an inspiration to millions.

Tony Robbins was abused as a child and kicked out of his house, left to live on the streets at 16.

Today, he is worth more than $1 billion and coaches some of the world’s top performers to the top.

Grant Cardone lost his father at the age of 9, became addicted to drugs at 16, and was in line for unemployment at 26.

Today, his real estate empire has helped him amass a fortune of more than $750 million with a beautiful wife and two children.

Whatever excuse you are allowing to hold you back… It’s bullshit.

Someone somewhere has gone through the same things as you and worse.

It’s up to you to choose a more empowering story, follow their example, and reclaim control of your life.

4. Always Seek to be of Service

When we are focused on ourselves, life can quickly become a pit of chaos and confusion.

The smallest obstacles derail us from our dreams, our emotions run wild, and we get so caught up in our own drama that we can miss out on the beauty of our lives.

The simplest and most powerful way to fix this issue is to shift your focus from yourself to others by seeking to be of service.

This doesn’t mean that you are a doormat but rather that you actively look for opportunities to serve others.

In the office, do what you can to serve your boss, your clients, and your customers.

At home, seek to serve your wife, your children, and your family.

When you go into the gas station, think of how you can serve the attendant helping you find your favorite candy bar.

Always look for ways to serve others and your life will transform at a pace you cannot imagine.

5. If You Want Something You Must Express It

Something I’ve always found a bit frustrating about our society is how many people feel that they are entitled to things.

People want raises without producing more value.

They want respect without earning it.

And, as it pertains to our conversation, they look for love without expressing it.

How man women have you met who complain that they can’t find a “Nice Guy” while sleeping with a different ass hole at the club each week?

How many men have you met who complain that they “Can’t find a good girl” and yet spend their weekend’s nose deep in cocaine and hookups?

How many people have you met who are always looking for love but never willing to start by giving love themselves?

If you want to experience something, then you must be the kind of person who is capable of manifesting and generating it in your own life.

In the examples above, if you want a quality partner, you must first become a quality human being.

If you want more money, you must first provide more value.

If you want more love, you must first express and give love freely before you expect it to be returned to you.

Stop searching for the things that you want and start expressing them.

As soon as you make this shift, your life will change forever.

Influential Books

1. Man’s Search for Meaning by Dr. Viktor Frankl

2. Being and Time by  Martin Heidegger

3. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck.

 

Next Steps

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